Gotta start somewhere

So in church today, Ben had mentioned about blogging. Don't worry, it wasn't the main topic of the sermon lol. Anyway I thought how I used to write on myspace, but erased everything on a whim, and never went back. Is it called a whim? Not sure, but it sounds right. I fugured I should start again, but we'll see how it goes. The topic for today...jobs. I know I know Brittany Keifer and job never has fit in the same sentence, but everyday I seem to be looking for one. Starting this summer I have to pay all of my bills and my money will run out. This scares me. Money scares me. So, I have been looking for a place to work. I tell people that I'm not actively searching for a job, but I have applied to places online. Either way, I don't want a job. Sure call me stuck up or lazy...I'm pretty sure I'm everything you are thinking right now. I want to do something I love, but I don't know what that is. I think I could work with animals or kids...same thing right lol. This really bothers me that I don't have a job but big picture, I can't see myself with a career. I am majoring in history and I tell people I eventually want to become a teacher. Eventually. What does that mean? To me it means after doing something that I want to do...the Peace Corps. Not realistic by any means, but it's what I want to do. And eventually I want to be a stay at home mom. So EVENTUALLY become a teacher...probably not. These are my thoughts everyday. What seems so small (looking for a part time job to pay bills) leads to so much more...the future.